The Hidden by Andrew Michael Schwarz

Author:Andrew Michael Schwarz
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Andrew Michael Schwarz
Published: 2021-05-06T00:00:00+00:00

6

Jack watched late night talk shows until somewhere around one o’clock in the morning and then headed to bed. He didn’t bother to brush his teeth. He peed in the dark, listening to make sure he was hitting the mark then, cold and exhausted, he slipped under his icy covers and lay awake.

He was still disappointed with what happened with Cheryl tonight. He really liked her, but like him she was so non-committal, which got him thinking too much about his own failures and excuses. He just couldn’t bring himself to buckle down after the divorce, a problem of increasing proportion these days.

The issue was quite simple in his mind: he was losing himself, little by little, out on the existential sea.

He was just as disappointed for what had happened with Beth a couple of weeks ago, and then there were about four other names back of that one that popped into his head all at once: Sherry Tamlin, Rose Garcia, Tammy McKlusky and, what was her name…oh, shit, don’t forget the name, do not forget the—Rhonda Hutchins! Yes, all of those women had been fun, all people he’d wanted to spend more time with, and all so damn temporary.

It had to do with his problem with commitment more so than a simple desire to be promiscuous. Sure, there were the delights of the flesh, the nuance of a new naked body to explore. They even had a name for it. It was called the Coolidge Effect after an old joke involving the thirtieth US president, Mr. Calvin Coolidge.

The Coolidge Effect could be demonstrated with laboratory mice and applied to the male sex of every species. It proved that if you were a male mouse and you were put into a cage with a female mouse you would copulate with that female mouse, but after one or two times, you would grow tired of that female mouse and roll over and fall asleep, i.e. a typical man.

However, what this Coolidge Effect went on to explain was that if the mad scientist in charge of the whole operation replaced that female with a new one, why that promiscuous bachelor mouse’s limbic system in the brain would light up like a Christmas tree. Mr. Mighty Mouse would then copulate with renewed vigor, and if you supplied a fresh female mouse every time, why that lecherous rodent would quite simply fuck himself to death.

Jack spoke aloud when he recited the old joke: “Mrs. Coolidge was being shown a family farm for sale and when they came upon the hen house, was stunned to find the rooster copulating with a hen. ‘Does the rooster copulate often?’ she asks.

“‘Oh, yes Mrs. Coolidge, every day,’ the farm hand tells her.

“‘Tell that to Mr. Coolidge for me, won’t you?’

“’Yes ma’am,’ says the farm hand.

“But when Mr. President was informed of this fact, he says, ‘Tell me farm hand, does that rooster service the same hen every time?’

“’Oh no, Mr. President, a different hen every time, sir.’

“The president nods sagely and says: ‘Tell that to Mrs.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.